UNDER THE INFLUENCE

“Comparison is the Thief of Joy,” President Theodore Roosevelt.

I have been GRIPPED by a new podcast called “Under the Influence,” hosted by Jo Piazza. It breaks down the facets of being a Social Media ‘Influencer’ or ‘Mommy Blogger’ and social media comparisons. Jo is a former celebrity gossip columnist and chronicles how financially successful Influencers need to have “A Shoppable Life.”

She joined me on Instagram to talk about her podcast, Mom Influencers, social media, and women supporting women.

IS INFLUENCER A DIRTY WORD?

Many of the items that Influencers share have been gifted and they receive payment for the post, also called “sponsored content,” which is when the presentation of ‘this is my normal life’ starts to separate from true reality. Yes, the Influencer’s ‘normal life’ may include receiving free products and being paid to share about them, but NOT the viewer.

What is an ‘honest review,’ really? I have an issue with the term, because it’s not possible to give an unbiased (or truly honest) opinion if you were given the item for free to begin with. Ads (or sponsored product posts) encourage viewers to purchase to feel fulfilled or happy. One of my favorite quotes from Fight Club: “We buy things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't like.” We also see the lives we aspire to and feel connected to the Influencer when we purchase the same products they have. If I think Jennifer Aniston’s life looks amazing and Jennifer Aniston drinks Smart Water, then when I drink Smart Water, Jen + I have something in common.

No one is hired as an ‘Influencer’ or awarded the title of ‘Influencer,’ you basically have to give it to yourself and work hard to make relatable, authentic and creative content. I think about the fact that women are conditioned to be humble and believe that accolades should only come from others. As women have been undervalued and underpaid in the workforce ( Black and Brown women especially), it’s only fair that they are compensated for their time generating content. I am also the first to admit that I have learned about some really amazing products and brands from influencers.

I’m also thinking about “ big business advertising” and how for decades, we lamented about how THEY created unrealistic beauty standards. I’m not sure if it’s Stockholm syndrome, but collectively on social media, we still engage with and follow more women who are ‘commercially beautiful’, skinny and white. I’m a big fan of the Body Positivity movement and sharing images and depictions of a wide range of bodies as beautiful.

Is there an inherent issue with being an Influencer? I don’t think so, but (in my opinion) it depends on what the Influencer is trying to influence you to do. There are many women I look up to on social media and watch with pride as they use their platforms for good.

JO’S TAKEAWAY:

I hope that women take away from it, is you just have to shift your perspective. We feel that anxiety because we're like, “This is just another mom like me.” No. These women are creating content. They're creating miniature magazines for you. And they know what they're doing. Most of them are shot by professional photographers. Most of them are photo edited. And there's nothing wrong with them doing that. [Instagram] is a content platform. This is not you peeking in your neighbor's window at their real life. If you can shift your perspective and look at it like that, and know all the work that goes into it, you won't feel the anxiety about it anymore” (Jo, to Marie Claire).

We’re all Lonely and Jealous

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about Celebrity, and how it relates to Influencers.

Personally, my thoughts are that we are each gifted with talents and it honors our gifts to use and share them. There is a conflation that happens when someone uses their talents on a big-scale and it seems that people think Celebrities are representing themselves as “perfect” or “better than.” There is so much drug and substance abuse and mental health issues with celebrities and I believe it’s because the public changes their perception and expectations of them to be not human anymore, but perfection, a BRAND, an object. And the weight of the public’s expectations is crushing. Taylor Swift is not Taylor Swift anymore, she’s Taylor Swift.

Jo said, “Look, I used to write gossip, right!? I know very well that people, especially women, enjoy a certain dose of schadenfreude. When people are put on a pedestal it becomes fun to try and take them down. Our best celebrity magazine covers always took a celebrity down; divorce. Why do you think the Jennifer Anniston covers did so well for literally 10 almost 20 years after she got divorced from Brad Pitt?

It’s because, even if you liked her, you kind of wanted to know that her life wasn’t perfect and you wanted to talk about that with people. And it comes from a place of jealousy and insecurity and I think when we look at it like that and really examine why we’re doing it, then maybe we could stop and break the cycle. And [we connect with others over the gossip] because we’re generally just lonely.”

THE REMEDY

Influencers, like celebrities can be sharing their creative talents with the world. If you change your perception to think of Instagram as a magazine. You are the editor, and you get to choose who and what content to include in that magazine. Do you want to include a bunch of content to hate-follow? Do you want to find ideas of what to purchase? Are you happy with your spending habits?

Think about the content you interact with and ask yourself if you want to include it in your Instagram Magazine. If not, edit it out!

Dr David, guest on ‘Under the Influence,’ shared “It’s a consumer treadmill… always to replace what is seen as not particularly trendy at that moment. The only way to defend yourself against it is to step back. Think about what you’re being told, think about what you’re seeing and ask yourself, ‘is this adding to the subtotal of my happiness and if it’s not, edit it our of your life. We should all be good editors in our lives.”

If you are interested in this topic, I highly recommend ‘Under The Influence’ and also ‘The Dream’ Podcasts. Jo Piazza, the host of Under the Influence will be joining me on Instagram March 31 at 9:30am PST (12:30 EST). I hope you can join us!!