Racism, it's not about YOU (it's all about YOU)

IT’S ALL ABOUT YOU:

I am not perfect, but I am a white person learning to do better for the goal of working towards equality and a future where systemic racism doesn’t exist. It’s all about you: If white folks don’t talk about it, then we are a part of the problem and benefiting from a system which provides inherent benefits based on the color of our skin. It’s uncomfortable, I am not always going to be correct while I am learning, but need to step out in love and try. If you are a Christian like myself, this is truly a calling to love our neighbors.

If 2021 has taught me anything, it’s to stop trying to find the answers within myself. We need to LISTEN and look to Black people who have chosen to share their perspective and wisdom. Photo from LorettaRoss.com.

IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU

I read about a situation in which a university president hosted a dinner to welcome and ‘get to know’ Black students. The students in attendance were hurt and offended by multiple things that evening, including how dinner included mac n’ cheese, collard greens and the tables were decorated with dried cotton. My immediate response was “How would I feel if I was a student at this dinner? How would this situation look in my life? Maybe if I went to study abroad somewhere and was served cheeseburgers and pizza?” In that very moment I realized my ignorance and it hit me like a ton of bricks: There is not and will NEVER be a comparable experience I can imagine, because my ancestors were not sold as property. People that look like me are not oppressed or killed by police.

If the last few years have taught me anything, it’s to stop thinking about my own perspective. We need to LISTEN and look to MARGINALIZED FOLKS who have chosen to share their perspectives and wisdom. It’s not a one-and-done reading of ‘How to be Anti-Racist.’

Dried cotton may not occur to be offensive to you (Anthropologie sold it years ago and my initial reaction was that it was beautiful), but if Black people have shared it’s hurtful, then it’s hurtful.

Dried Cotton is a reminder of slavery and with over 400,000 species of flowering plants, let’s find another decor. This is a wreath currently on sale at Target.

ON CANCEL CULTURE

I don’t think people should be cancelled. I think we should all be challenged with love and held accountable, as there are repercussions for our actions. Before discussing ‘Calling In’ and ‘Calling On,’ I have to stop to acknowledge that ‘Calling Out’ culture exists from Brown and Black people being harmed, oppressed and ignored for decades. It takes energy, restraint and time for someone who is being hurt to educate someone who has said or done something harmful. Black and Brown people don’t owe us white folks an education, and many of them have been working for free and providing education for many years already (see below for list of books and accounts which share education).

AN ALTERNATIVE TO CANCEL CULTURE

I would love to introduce you to Loretta Ross if you have not heard of her before. Below is an excerpt from ‘Callout and Cancel Culture Don’t serve Social Justice.’

“Instead of calling out, Professor Ross likes to use a method she describes as calling in – when you call someone out, but with love…

“So, when you use calling in techniques be calm, be gentle, be respectful and really be loving towards them, because you want that same kind of love, respect and gentleness offered to you when someone is trying to talk to you.”

She admits that even if you act that way, the person you are trying to call in may not be able to accept what you are telling them.

Professor Ross also admits it takes a fair bit of self-restraint not to go straight for the caps lock button on the keyboard.

“Instead of twitching really quickly to pounce on people first ask yourself, ‘why do I feel the need to pounce on this person, am I actually challenging injustice or am I just challenging them because it makes me feel good to be able to challenge them’.

“You really can’t uphold human rights by violating people’s human rights, that’s a contradiction, and so if you brutalize people trying to get them to not commit a human rights violation, then you’ve actually undermined and betrayed our own mission.

“I think a lot of people get a lot of sadistic pleasure out of calling people out, they want to enjoy someone’s downfall, but all that does is it makes other people fearful that they will be the next target.”