What your Pediatrician Wishes You Knew
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The wisdom from decades of pediatric practice from retired physician, Dr Kim Jones
Dr Kim Jones
TODAY’S BIGGEST CHALLENGE
Mental health issues are at epidemic levels in children and continue into college. Intentionally developing your family culture and clear goals for your child while helping them find and feed their ‘spark’ are effective tools to reduce mental illness and anxiety.
Sparks are inner passions (hobbies, interests, causes, traits) that bring joy to us and flourish when pursued and supported. What if we as parents focused on nurturing the sparks of our children? It takes time, intentionality and embracing who they are (rather than who we want them to be or what we think they should do) to result in developing someone who has purpose, perspective, and resilience (and often an antidote to mental health problems)! Plus it's amazingly fun to watch their sparks ignite!
ABOUT SCHEDULES
“Sleep schedules are very important for the first baby and irrelevant for siblings.”
But really… when it comes to schedules, follow your personality! Kids typically like routine. If you love scheduling, then they will probably do well in a well scheduled environment. If you are more laid back/relaxed, then it’s OK for your household to run that way too. Ask yourself if your family is functioning with your lifestyle.
ABOUT SLEEPING
Sleep Recommendations (total in 24 hours including naps):
0-1 year: 12-16 hours
1-2 years: 11-14 hours
3-5 years: 10-13 hours
6-12 years: 9-12 hours
13-18 years: 8-10 hours
ABOUT NUTRITION
Nutrition ( choosemyplate.gov):
A meal plate should be half fruit/veggies, ¼ protein, ¼ carbs (or use hand size for portion)
Ideally snacks should include 2 of these groups
It takes multiple (8-15) times of trying a food for children to accept it
Fruit juice has no real nutritional value- avoid entirely or dilute with water
For constipation, give water and “P” fruits (pear, peach, prune, plum); milk is constipating!
Vitamins are not necessary and not as good as eating actual food (exception: calcium)
ABOUT LANGUAGE DEVELOPMENT:
By 2 years they should be able to put 2 words together and should be 50% understandable to a stranger
By 3 years they should be able to use phrases and should be 75% understandable to a stranger
By 4 years they should be able to use sentences and should be 100% understandable to a stranger
ABOUT SAFETY:
Sunscreen: Need Broad spectrum (UVA + UVB), SPF 30 is adequate (no better if higher). Ideally applied 30 minutes before going outside and reapplied after 2 hours or water exposure.
ABOUT ILLNESS:
Hand washing is the #1 preventative step you can take
Most cold medicines aren’t approved under age 6 and won’t work well anyway. Stick with acetaminophen, ibuprofen and perhaps saline for nose.
Secret for vomiting: small amounts of clear liquids frequently (even 1 tablespoon every 10 minutes). Pediatlyte is good for vomiting if they will take it (or popsicle).
WHAT I WISH PARENTS KNEW SOONER:
Say what you mean and mean what you say
Affirm the positive, don’t just criticize the negative (think both kinds of reinforcement!)
The days are long but the years are short- be intentional about time with your kids all along
Children are always watching you and learning from you- teach and model by example
Children need space and time to be creative and think- challenges are over scheduling and screens
Children need to be empowered and given responsibility (fears are unfounded) Letgrow.org
Hardest part of parenting is knowing when to push and when to back off
There is no win in comparison
What are your goals for your children? What does a healthy adult look like/do? Based on what they should be/do at 18, what should they be and do at 12? At 2?
Challenges in adolescence include spiritual/existential quest (not just puberty, biology, emotions)
Ruthlessly strive for good communication in any/all forms (5 love languages by Gary Chapman)
If you want to swim against the culture, find other like-minded folks to support you
To Help your Children thrive= “spark + 3 champions + opportunity” (Peter Benson) TED TALK
Think about what matters in your culture versus your family. Write a mission statement! Think about the big picture and who they were created to be.
You only have 936 weeks with your child from birth to their 18th birthday!!
FAVORITE RESOURCES:
How to get your kid to eat but not too much by Ellyn Satter
Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood by Jim and Charles Fay
The Grown-Ups Guide to Teenage Humans by Josh Shipp
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families by Stephen Covey
Belonging and Becoming by Scandrette
ABOUT DR KIM JONES:
After retiring from 20 years of pediatric practice, Dr Kim Jones is now working in other arenas to help youth thrive. She hosts a monthly parent discussion group, is exploring community and faith-based models to foster youth empowerment around passion and purpose, and enjoys speaking to promote the health and flourishing of children and teens. If you would like to connect with her, you are welcome to reach out to her at: kim.carson.jones@gmail.com.